This poem was written by my friend Rachel, and I felt that it needed to be posted so that somewhere it could maybe make a difference. It's pretty simple and straight-forward, but it gets the point across. She wrote it in the spur of the moment while paying her respect during the two minutes of silence at 11:00. Although we claim to remember on Remembrance Day, I don't think it even comes close to the respect that our soldiers deserve.
Three-hundred-sixty-five days
and one goes out to you.
And out of it we take a minute to pay our respects.
The silence is deafening from the screams of those lost,
The room is filled with the weight of the dead.
We get it now, because you were our age,
ignorant and blind.
And now you are gone, lost in the bowels of history.
But if one person with a conscience, would make us understand;
Then there would be no risk of a reprise of what you have seen.
And even though we “remember” we don’t know your name
So you are forgotten, you have died in vain.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
I very much like the intent of this poem as it has an appeal to both sides of the political spectrum. I always like to believe that a soldier never dies in vain, but that's just what I like to believe and I know it is not always true.
Just some minor things; the seventh line seemed redundant to me and unnecessary. Also, there needs to be a comma in the eleventh line to seperate the two clauses.